Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts

Thursday, October 02, 2008

NEW DOLLAR

The Treasury Dept put a new dollar bill in circulation this week.



So let me guess.....we are supposed to have confidence that the very ones who got us into this mess are suggesting they are the ones that can fix it.......


Albert Einstein once said “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”.

Does this not look a bit like insanity? Why don't we learn from history? Please read the following article from The Wall Street Journal on the history of bailouts......I had no idea of this history.....why isn't this being taught in school?

WALL STREET JOURNAL

SEPTEMBER 20, 2008

Government Bailouts: A U.S. Tradition Dating to Hamilton

By MICHAEL M. PHILLIPS

The bubble pops. Lenders freeze. Depositors lose faith. Panic spreads. And the government steps in because nobody else will.

Today it is Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson and Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke putting together the rescue package for a financial system rocked by falling home prices and a wave of defaults on subprime mortgages.

But a short walk through U.S. history demonstrates the point made by Alex J. Pollock of the American Enterprise Institute: "If you would like an empirical law of government behavior, it is that in a panic or threatened financial collapse, governments intervene -- every government, every party, every country, every time."

The Panic of 1792

The nation's first president was in his first term when the U.S. ran into its first financial panic.

In 1791, the federal government assumed obligations that such states as Massachusetts and South Carolina owed from the Revolutionary War, part of a larger deal that included moving the national capital from New York to Philadelphia to Washington. Taking on the states' obligations added about $18 million to a total U.S. domestic debt of $65 million -- debt securities that proved attractive to financial speculators.

Primary among them was William Duer, a well-connected New York businessman who schemed to start a New York bank to drive down the price of Bank of New York stock and win control of BONY on the cheap. He and his colleagues also intended to corner the market on government 6% bonds, so-called Sixes.

Treasury Secretary Alexander Hamilton, the founder of BONY, watched the developments with alarm. "I have learnt with infinite pain the circumstance of a new Bank having started up in your City," Mr. Hamilton wrote to a New York associate, according to research by economic historians Richard Sylla, Robert E. Wright and David J. Cowen. "Its effects cannot but be in every view pernicious," because of the damage they caused to "the whole system of public Credit, by disgusting all sober Citizens and giving a wild air to everything."

The price for Sixes in New York jumped markedly from early December to mid-January. By March, the bubble had burst, with the price of the bonds dropping 25% over two weeks.

Working without a historical blueprint, Hamilton engineered an innovative response. The Treasury borrowed money from the banks and used it to buy government bonds, lifting the market price. He also told banks to accept bonds as collateral for loans to securities brokers, with the government guaranteeing the collateral.

"What Hamilton did in 1792 is just like what Paulson and Bernanke are doing now," said Mr. Sylla, who teaches at the Stern School of Business at New York University.

The financial system stabilized in April, and not a single bank failed until 1809. Mr. Hamilton's improvisation did the trick, or at least so concludes Mr. Wright, also at NYU. He named his son Alexander Hamilton Was Wright.

The Panic of 1907

The century that followed was punctuated by financial instability. There was the panic of 1819, during which states passed laws delaying foreclosures on real estate and personal property.

In 1841, another bout of financial volatility sent land values plummeting. States that had been depending on land taxes suddenly found themselves short of cash; nine of them defaulted on their debts. There was talk of a federal bailout, but Congress balked. Some states raised taxes and paid up; others swapped canals or other assets with their creditors.

"There were banking panics all of the time," said Princeton University economist Alan Blinder, former vice chairman of the Federal Reserve Board. "The banking panic of 1907 was particularly pernicious."

One immediate cause of the panic involved a failed attempt to corner the market on stock in a particular copper company. That led to a run on banks and trusts that had made loans for the plot, starting with the Knickerbocker Trust Co. Public confidence in other financial institutions soon evaporated.

The Treasury injected millions of dollars into the banking system. But it was really J. Pierpont Morgan, the banking magnate and undisputed king of New York financial markets, who saved the day. He had been in Virginia for a church conference when the panic hit, and he took an overnight train back to New York City. He dispatched his lieutenants to figure out which banks were in the worst trouble, then he called the bankers to his home. Working through the night, he browbeat the others into forming a joint pool of capital that they would use to pay depositors at banks that faced runs.

Once depositors saw that they were going to get their money, the panic eased. "Where's J.P. Morgan when we need him?" joked Mr. Blinder.

Six years later, Congress established the Federal Reserve system, creating a lender of last resort for the country's financial system.

The Great Depression

By 1933, four years after the infamous stock-market crash, about 1,000 American homeowners a day were losing their houses to the bank. President Franklin Delano Roosevelt and Congress created the Home Owners' Loan Corp., an ambitious government agency designed to prevent foreclosures on an enormous scale.

The agency bought defaulted mortgages from banks, then refinanced them at lower rates for fixed, 15-year terms. Over the three years it accepted applications, the agency was swamped with 1.9 million requests; about half of the applicants had monthly incomes of between $50 and $150.

Ultimately, the agency issued mortgages, averaging $3,039 apiece, to some one million homeowners. About one in 10 Americans with nonfarm, owner-occupied dwellings secured aid from the agency, according to a 1951 paper by C. Lowell Harriss of Columbia University.

The current mortgage crisis involves securities backed by subprime home loans. But during the 1930s, there was no secondary market for securitized mortgages. So the agency had to hold the mortgages for the full terms. It finally closed up shop in 1951, with about 80% of borrowers having paid their loans off on time or early.

The agency earned the government a small profit. "You save 80% of the people from being tossed out of their homes, and it didn't end up costing the government a dollar," said Lee Davison, a historian at the Federal Deposit Insurance Corp., another Great Depression creation.
Savings and Loan Crisis

It used to be that savings-and-loan associations were staid institutions that stuck to home loans and lured savings-account depositors with blankets and toasters. But during the 1980s, the industry expanded wildly into commercial real-estate lending, spurred by deregulation and poor regulation, according to Mr. Blinder.

The business model worked as long as the S&Ls made more money on their loans than they had to pay for deposits. But the model broke down when interest rates rose, and the institutions found themselves paying more for deposits than they earned from fixed-rate loans in their portfolios.

"In addition," said Mr. Blinder, "they went into a lot of what could only be called stupid real-estate investments."

From 1986 through 1995, about half of the 3,234 S&Ls in the U.S. closed, leaving federal insurers stuck with tens of billions of dollars in bad loans. In 1989, after eight months of debate, Congress created the Resolution Trust Corp. to make depositors whole, investigate allegations of wrongdoing and deal with the husks of the S&L industry.

At the time, skeptics warned that government was reaching too far into the marketplace, and predicted darkly the RTC would be saddled with bad assets for generations.

Indeed, the government ended up owning shopping centers, homes and resorts, along with an odd collection of assets put up as collateral for S&L loans, including Picasso and Warhol paintings, a 30-horse merry-go-round, a Colonial-era whiskey distillery, a drawstring made from Martha Washington's gown and 800 units of semen from a registered Brahma bull.

By the time the S&L cleanup was over, it had cost U.S. taxpayers about $124 billion in non-inflation-adjusted dollars, according to FDIC research. Mr. Davison, the FDIC historian, wrote in a 2006 journal article: "Perhaps a measure of the RTC's success is that little more than a decade after it closed, this agency that provoked so much debate is now largely forgotten."

—Greg Hitt and Louise Radnofsky contributed to this article.

Monday, September 29, 2008

How About This Bailout?

Here is an interesting approach.

Is my math correct?

I’m against the $85,000,000,000.00 bailout of AIG. Instead, I’m in favor of giving $85,000,000,000 to America in a "We Deserve It Dividend".

To make the math simple, let’s assume there are 200,000,000 bonafide U.S. Citizens 18+. Our population is about 301,000,000 +/- counting every man, woman and child. So 200,000,000 might be a fair stab at adults 18 and up.. So divide 200 million adults 18+ into $85 billion that equals $425,000.00.

My plan is to give $425,000 to every person 18+ as a "We Deserve It Dividend". Of course, it would NOT be tax free. So let’s assume a tax rate of 30%. Every individual 18+ has to pay $127,500.00 in taxes. That sends $25,500,000,000 right back to Uncle Sam.

But it means that every adult 18+ has $297,500.00 in their pocket. A husband and wife has $595,000.00.

What would you do with $297,500.00 to $595,000.00 in your family? • Pay off your mortgage – housing crisis solved. • Repay college loans – what a great boost to new grads • Put away money for college – it’ll be there • Save in a bank – create money to loan to entrepreneurs. • Buy a new car – create jobs • Invest in the market – capital drives growth • Pay for your parent’s medical insurance – health care improves • Enable Deadbeat Dads to come clean – or else

Remember this is for every adult U S Citizen 18+ including the folks who lost their jobs at Lehman Brothers and every other company that is cutting back. And of course, for those serving in our Armed Forces.

If we’re going to re-distribute wealth let’s really do it...instead of trickling out a puny $1000.00 ( “vote buy” ) economic incentive that is being proposed by one of our candidates for President.
If we’re going to do an $85 billion bailout, let’s bail out every adult U S Citizen 18+!

As for AIG – • liquidate it. • Sell off its parts. • Let American General go back to being American General. • Sell off the real estate. • Let the private sector bargain hunters cut it up and clean it up.

Here’s my rationale. We deserve it and AIG doesn’t.

Sure it’s a crazy idea that can “never work.” But can you imagine the Coast-To-Coast Block Party! How do you spell Economic Boom?

I trust my fellow adult Americans to know how to use the $85 billion We deserve the "We Deserve It Dividend" more than the geniuses at AIG or in Washington DC.
And remember, The Family plan only really costs $59.5 billion because $25.5 billion is returned instantly in taxes to Uncle Sam.

Ahhh...I feel so much better getting that off my chest.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Drafting Guys over 60

This actually makes sense.


Drafting Guys over 60----this is so funny & obviously written by a former soldier.
New Direction for the war on terrorists.
Send to Service Vets over 60


I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists.. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing bassackwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.

For starters:

Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep , I'm tired and hungry.' We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some jerk that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys always get up early to pee so what the heck. Besides, like I said, 'I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-gun.

If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at, and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course, however. I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training. I can hear the Drill Sgt. in the 'New army' now, 'Get down and give me .. ER ... one.'
Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see right now is a couple of million ticked-off old guys with 'attitude' and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them.

If nothing else, put us on border patrol.....we will have it secured the first night!

Share this with your senior friends. It's purposely in big type so they can read it.

Monday, September 15, 2008

When We Got My Mother a Computer.....

When we got my mother a computer, I think we created a surf monster. I don't know where she finds this stuff.



Everyone concentrates on the problems we're having in this country lately: illegal immigration, hurricane recovery, alligators attacking people in Florida.....



Not me. I concentrate on solutions for the problems. It's a win-win situation.

+ Dig a moat the length of the Mexican border.

+ Send the dirt to New Orleans to raise the level of the levies.

+ Put the Florida alligators in the moat along the Mexican border.

Any other problems you would like for me to solve today ? Yes!

Think about this one:

1. Cows
2. The Constitution
3. The Ten Commandments



COWS

Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the state of Washington? And, they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.



THE CONSTITUTION

They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq .... Why don't we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked for over 200 years, and we're not using it anymore.



THE 10 COMMANDMENTS

The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse is this:
You cannot post 'Thou Shalt Not Steal,' 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery,' and 'Thou Shall Not Lie' in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians...It creates a hostile work environment.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

From the Mouths of Comedians...

Eric Hoffer said, "The mystery of our time is the inability of decent people to get angry."

I realize that sadness is a much safer emotion, but is it so necessary to have demonized anger in America?

"McCain? Hey, doesn't he have a temper? Yeah, I think I read that - ooh, I don't know about him. Can you trust a guy that gets mad?"

Can you trust a guy who doesn't get mad? Let's get a guy with a temper. Maybe spending five years in a box in Vietnam makes a man a little cranky. But it also gives you firsthand experience with "evildoers," and maybe we need a little more of that.

Bill Maher, 2002

Monday, August 18, 2008

Doctors vs Guns

This is worth reading....

Doctors:
(A) The number of doctors in the U.S. is 700,000.
(B) Accidental deaths caused by physicians per year are 120,000.
(C) Accidental deaths per physician is 17.14%.
Statistics: courtesy of the U.S.Dept of Health & Human Services

Guns:
(A) The number of gun owners in the U.S. is 80,000,000 (yes! that's 80 million).
(B) The number of accidental gun deaths per year, all age groups, is 1,500.
(C) The number of accidental deaths per gun owner is 0.001875%.
Statistics: courtesy of the FBI

So statistically, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners.

Remember, guns don't kill people, doctors do.

FACT: NOT EVERYONE HAS A GUN, BUT ALMOST EYERYONE HAS AT LEAST ONE DOCTOR
Please alert your friends to this alarming threat. We must ban doctors before this gets completely out of hand!!!

Out of concern for the public at large, I have withheld statistics on lawyers for fear the shock would cause people to panic and seek medical attention.........

Saturday, August 16, 2008

AGELESS WIT AND OBSERVATIONS

This just about sums it up.......



AGELESS WIT AND OBSERVATIONS
"If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed, if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed."
...Mark Twain











Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress....But then I repeat myself.
...Mark Twain













I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.
...Winston Churchill
















A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
...George Bernard Shaw












Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner.
...James Bovard, Civil Libertarian (1994)









Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries. ...Douglas Casey, Classmate of Bill Clinton at Georgetown University.








Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
...P.J. O'Rourke, Civil Libertarian















Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else.
...Frederic Bastiat, Economist (1801-1850)











Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.
...Ronald Reagan (1986)












I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
...Will Rogers










If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free!
...P.J. O'Rourke











In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other.
...Voltaire (1764)











Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you!
...Pericles (430 B.C.)






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No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session.
...Mark Twain (1866)









Talk is cheap...except when Congress does it.
...Unknown











The government is like a baby's alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other.
...Ronald Reagan









The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.
...Mark Twain









There is no distinctly Native American criminal class...save Congress.
...Mark Twain









What this country needs are more unemployed politicians.
...Edward Langley, Artist (1928 - 1995)












A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.

...Thomas Jefferson

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Obama Cartoons That Will Never Be Published

Oh, how cowardly and dispicable the "Main Stream" news media has become. These are cartoons of the more popular Obama gaffes.